How Do We Pray at All Times?

If your life is anything like mine, you don't exactly lounge around in satin, leopard-print pajamas and feathery high-heel slippers while savoring gourmet chocolates all day long. Not that you wouldn't like to, occasionally. But face it, our lives are not foofy like that. (I just made up the word foofy, and think it fits here perfectly.)

Instead, you probably juggle husband and family situtations, run lots of errands, prepare a gazillion meals, squeeze in the laundry and vanquish dog-hair tumbleweeds lurking in the hallway, just like I do. But when it comes to praying, it probably doesn't happen nearly as often as it should, let alone at all times.

I think the reason most of us neglect to pray at all times, as Ephesians 6:18 tells us, is that we picture prayer as something done only on our knees, at a specific hour of the day. Or, we think prayer must happen while we're alone in our bedroom, with the door shut so we can actually have five minutes without being interrupted. And don't get me wrong, there are times we need to get alone with God and pray down heaven. I hope we do this more often than not.

But waiting for the perfect time to pray is like waiting for our lives to be perfect before we decide we're ready to have kids. If we did that, well, we'd all be lounging around in leopard-print pajamas....no, no, no. If we wait for everything to be perfect, prayer (and babies) will not happen.

The number one way to pray at all times is to pray the moment you think of it--even if you're doing something else. If while bathing your baby you suddenly begin thinking about all of the orphans in Haiti, whisper a prayer--right then and there.

If your daughter starts flashing attitude on the drive to school one morning, pray right then, while she's rolling those eyes. If you are chopping vegetables for dinner and your mind drifts off to an uncle that you haven't seen in ages, take the hint: pray for him while you cook. When you finish talking with an old friend and hang up the phone with a heavy heart, pray immediately--even if you go back to sweeping the floor.

These are all examples of promptings of the Holy Spirit, and they happen all day long. Praying at all times is simply a matter of paying attention to these promptings, then obeying. Remember: our prayers truly make an eternal difference...wherever and whenever they are prayed.

"Pray at all times, on every occasion, in every season, in the Spirit, with all manner of prayer and entreaty." Ephesians 6:18

Don't. Give. Up.

My steering wheel shimmered with tears. Hunched over in the front seat of my car, I told God I couldn't do it any more. I was done. The misery and heartache I regularly experienced in my marriage stole my joy, my appetite, and my confidence. I begged God not to make me go back.

But instead of dancing off into the sunset without a wedding ring, I went back. Though it cost me, I went back. Through tears, I went back. Because God told me to.

Have you been there? Are you there right now? Are you doing what God has told you to do (it may have nothing to do with your marriage), yet things have deteriorated to the point that you seriously doubt you can go on--and keep your sanity?

This morning I read Exodus 5:22-23. Although Moses did exactly what the Lord commanded him to do, things got much worse. It seemed like God didn't care. "Then Moses went back to the Lord and protested, (sound familiar?) Why have you brought all this trouble on your own people, Lord? Why did you send me? Ever since I came to Pharaoh as Your spokesman (to do what you told me!), he has been even more brutal to your people. And you have done nothing to rescue them!" Italics mine.

Does it seem like God is doing nothing to rescue you?

According to Exodus 6:9, when things got harder, the people of Israel refused to listen to Moses any more. "They had become too discouraged by the brutality of their slavery."

It's tempting to give up and stop listening to God when things become too hard and it seems He is not answering our prayers. But that's where faith comes in--and knowing God's character becomes critical. John 11:42 says, "I know You always hear and listen to me." God heard me all those years, and He hears you, too.

Sometimes things get worse before they get better. Do we really think the enemy will roll out a red carpet and allow us to freely move toward our destiny? He's determined to fight and discourage us, just like he fought and discouraged the people of Israel.

We must make a conscious effort to resist discouragement. How? By drawing closer to God through reading His Word, through prayer, and through worship. And by becoming familiar with God's character.

That day in the car many years ago, my heart heard the faint whisper of a promise. And through years of heartache, God's promise to me became louder and louder until I could actually hear it more clearly than my unsaved husband's harsh, mocking words. Because I didn't give up back then, I've savored the pleasure of watching that whisper of a promise unfold before my eyes.

Whatever you're walking through right now, don't give up. With a willing heart and a God who is on your side, nothing is impossible.

Photo taken by my daughter, Emily.

Why I Decided to Stop

The gray hair couldn't have surprised me more if it had tiptoed into my kitchen and tapped me on the shoulder. At the carefree age of 24, I stood in front of a mirror in the restroom at work and tried to breathe. There it waved, taunting me--a lone gray hair on the right side of my part.

Stunned, I wondered if my DNA had somehow gotten mixed up in a weird blood transfusion, but then I remembered I'd never had a blood transfusion.

Unwilling to surrender, I pinched the gray hair defiantly, snapped it out of my head, then marched over to the trash can and watched it float down onto a pile of used paper towels.

A decade later, I climbed up a stairway behind my pastor. He turned around to say something, took one look at the top of my head and with a note of surprise in his voice said, "Well, you're certainly getting some gray hair there, aren't you?"

I nearly choked.

That very weekend I high tailed it to the hair salon and begged Teresa, my hairdresser, to pluck every last gray hair she saw--or color it, if the plucking would leave me mostly bald. Teresa wisely chose the latter, and after passing the hair color initiation, I began the coloring-your-hair-at-home adventure.

And suddenly, fourteen years passed. The silver I tried so hard to cover began rudely shining through just eight days after each coloring. I wrestled with the reason I colored my hair now. What started out as a desire to look my age somehow morphed into something I had to do to "look beautiful".

But who defines beauty?

I started to think that I had imprisoned myself in our culture's relentless and unrealstic beauty ideals. And while I'm all about being healthy and taking good care of myself, coloring my hair began to feel like pressure to be who I wasn't. Besides, I grew weary of handing Loreal hush money every three weeks.

Finally, I broke free. I made the bold decision to stop coloring my hair this past September. While I wish with all my heart that I still had beautiful brown hair with auburn highlights, the reality is I don't. And if I desire to embrace authenticity, I need to accept reality.

At this point I've outgrown the awkward stage where I felt compelled to announce the obvious to everyone right away. "I'm growing out my gray," I'd tell people I hadn't seen in a while. I guess I'm growing comfortable with the transition.

Now, when I glance in the mirror, it's always a surprise. While I can't claim to love the gray that's taking up a quarter of my head, it feels oddly liberating, like I'm allowing a more authentic me to emerge. And though I won't say I'm best friends with my gray hair yet, I can honestly say I don't resent it any longer. And I think that's a good start.

How about you? Is there something you're resisting that you just need to accept? Is there a new level of authenticity you'd like to embrace?

Check back for occasional posts on what I'm learning as I go gray.

On Goals and a New Direction

Early last fall God allowed several writing doors to close for me. Looking back I can see that He was giving me a much needed break from writing deadlines. Our daughter had been hospitalized and then in serious recovery mode for many months. While she recuperated our son had surgery that involved 5 weeks of wearing a wound-vac and home health-care visits. And, my husband and I both succumbed to various illnesses in the midst of it all.

When life interrupts, it's tempting to think that our goals will never get accomplished. And maybe they won't. Sometimes the things God accomplishes in us trump the goals we thought we had to meet.

And sometimes, God asks us to change direction.

Last November, I began to pray about writing goals for 2010. I once heard that we are guaranteed to miss a target we don't have, and I agree with that. But I always want my goals to be established by God. "Roll your works upon the Lord--commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and so shall your plans be established and succeed." (Proverbs 16:3, Amplified Bible)

As I prayed, I felt nudged toward a scary direction--a place I had no desire to go--and reluctance set in. While I didn't cross my arms and dig in my heels, I couldn't fathom going that way. So I simply didn't think about it. Much.

An interior wrestling match commenced. I ignored the nudges, God gently coaxed.

I said, "It'll be ugly. And painful."

God said, "My grace is sufficient."

"But I don't want to re-live it," I whispered.

"I'll be re-living it with you," He whispered back.

Slowly, God persuaded me.

Aligning my writing goals with God's unexpected plans for me this year felt daring, like stopping abruptly on a major interstate highway, walking across the median, and climbing into a new car headed in the opposite direction. Without a GPS.

And so, my writing goal for 2010 is established: 1,000 words a day, 5 days a week, until the rough draft of my memoir is finished. My goal is ambitious, and can only be accomplished through discipline, God's grace, and with the help of my prayer partners. It's definitely not not what I had planned. But it's absolutely what I'm supposed to do.

How about you? What are your goals for 2010? Can you share a time that God completely changed your direction?