I couldn’t believe we’d done
it.
Wondering what on earth I
had gotten myself into, I tossed and turned all night. My sleep deprived brain
rolled worst-case scenarios before my eyes—all of which ended in horrible catastrophe.
That’s right. We had booked
our first cruise.
My husband desperately
needed rest and fun; he had always wanted to go. I was the hold up. I struggled
with cruise-fear, severe motion sickness, and not being a fan of huge crowds.
Yet after finding a great
deal, my fate was sealed. So I did what any desperate woman would do. I prayed.
I asked God for simple things—that He would help me not be afraid and not throw
up. {Do you sometimes pray super-spiritual prayers like that, too?}
No sooner had I said Amen than I sensed God calming my fears.
As I sat in my prayer chair and breathed in His presence, supernatural peace
buoyed my heart. Deep down, I sensed that everything was going to be fine.
Then I had to actually step
onto the ship. Without wailing, fainting, or throwing up. Hyper aware that the
only thing between me and certain death was a hull of steel (why ships do not
sink is beyond me…) my faith was put to the test. Especially the night a major
storm hit.
Tossed awake at 3am by the
ship’s severe rocking, I struggled to get to the bathroom without slamming into
our cabin walls. Our bath towels defied gravity, bizarrely swaying straight out
against my arms. 50 M.P.H. winds beat 20 foot seas against the ship. And fear
hammered against my heart.
Sometimes, like Peter
stepping out of the boat, we step out in courage. We absolutely know we can do this. Then the winds pick
up. The whitecaps swell. And even though the Lord is right in front of us, our
focus bounces between Him and the waves.
But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?” (NLT)
Gusts of fear blow our faith
like so much sea foam; we lose our focus, and our hearts sink. Sometimes all we
can see are the waves.
Waves of opposition.
Waves of confusion.
Waves of uncertainty.
Waves of fear.
That’s when, like Peter, we
cry out, “Save me, Lord!” And Jesus, who is always
there, answers us: “Why did you doubt me?”
Why do we doubt Jesus?
Why do we take our eyes off
of Him? Why do we allow our hearts to sink? Why do the waves seem more massive
than the One who controls the earth’s tides?
God never promised our lives
would be storm-free. But He did promise to be with us and help us.
Fear not, there is nothing to fear, for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My victorious right hand of rightness. (Isaiah 41:10)
That terrifying night, God’s
grace trumped fear. It trumped 50 mph winds. And it trumped all-out panic. I
locked eyes with Jesus instead of the waves. And I said No to fear. Out loud. Because sometimes that’s what a woman has to
do to prevent her heart from sinking.
We can say No to fear and Yes to the Prince of Peace. And then Jesus does this supernatural
thing—He fills us with amazing peace—even in the middle of 20-foot waves.
That night I actually snuggled
back into our little cabin bed and slept soundly.
The truth is His presence, grace
and peace gives us hearts that don’t sink. It's then that we realize winds of opposition, confusion,
uncertainty and fear are never bigger than our King. And we never, ever face
them alone.
Lord, I’m grateful that I never faces stormy seas alone, and
that You are bigger than every storm. Help me to lock eyes with You instead of
focusing on the waves around me. Help me never to doubt you. Strengthen me and
be with me through every storm. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
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