The Benefits of Dashing To and Fro

I can zip my pants. This may not sound like earth-shattering news. But given the number of Christmas goodies I’ve already consumed this season, I assure you it's no small feat.

In fact, this may even qualify as a Christmas miracle, since all my spare time has been sucked into the Holiday Vortex, along with my usual daily two-mile walks. I lamented my lack of exercise until it dawned on me: Wait one cotton-pickin’ minute! I am busy! And busy burns calories!

So, in the spirit of holiday giving, I joyfully offer my contribution to society at large: The Holiday Equivalents Chart. By my calculations, and according to this Official Chart, I can enjoy the many flavors of Christmas without loosening my belt even a tiny bit. And so, my friends, can you.

The Official Holiday Calorie Equivalents Chart

  • Lugging holiday boxes from basement/attic/garage = 3 Powdered Pecan Balls
  • Screaming from creepy crawlies in box = 2 Frosted Sugar Cookies
  • Beating creepy crawlies w/ broom & cleaning up the mess = 1 Peppermint Brownie
  • Driving to 3 Christmas tree lots in search of perfect tree = 1 Mug of Hot Cocoa
  • Untangling aggravating Christmas lights = Cheeseball and ¼ box of Triscuits
  • Tossing tangled Christmas lights and driving to store for new lights = 1 Candy Cane
  • Taking out a 2nd mortgage to pay for Christmas tree =3 Pieces of Fudge
  • Keeping up with the laundry in the midst of it all = Chips & Dip on a festive tray
  • Toting child(ren) hither and yon to choir practice and holiday parties = 4 Mini pigs-in-a-blanket
  • Constructing and decorating Gingerbread house = 25 Red & Green Peanut M&M's
  • Chasing wayward cat away from partially eaten Gingerbread house = 2 Homemade Chocolate-Almond Biscotti
  • Attending 142 (or 9) Christmas play rehearsals = 9 Peanut Butter Kisses
  • Brainstorming stocking stuffers for entire family = 3 Gingersnaps
  • Composing witty yet meaningful Christmas letter = 2 Rum Balls
  • Posing for annual holiday picture without blood or tears = 3 Christmas Oreos
  • Shopping, shopping, shopping = 1 ½ cups Home made Chex Mix
  • Waiting in line without Losing It = Handful of Spiced Pecans
  • Baking umpteen thousand Christmas cookies = 4 Snickerdoodles
  • Ranting at teen son (and friends) for snarfing most of cookies = 1 Piece Pumpkin Pie
  • Wrapping Christmas presents until back spasms =1 Dinner Out OR ELSE

This concludes the annual milking of the system. With cookies, of course.



This is a fantastic list. I just moved into an apartment that has flights of stairs everything . . . including laundry. Imagine all the cookies I can eat this year.

Appreciated your visit to my blog, Julie.


Diane said...

Funny list and I hear ya with buttoning your pants. I am teetering close to the edge!!! :O)

Karen said...

Oh, Julie I love your Christmas list! I think that's great. I wish I could zip my pants. :P

Cheryl Barker said...

I love the way you think, Julie :) By the way, I've got a little giveaway going on that might be up your alley :) (my Wed. post)

Jeanette Levellie said...

What a fun list! I love how you think, Julie!!!


Anonymous said...

That is just about the funniest rationalization for holiday treats that I've ever heard. I plan to implement your system & no longer feel guilty that my workouts have suffered from all of the hustle & bustle. ;)

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