Peace in Unlikely Places


I've done it for sixteen years. Researched curriculum, created lesson plans, checked math and science papers. I home schooled our (now 21 year old) son from 1st grade through graduation, and his little sister (now 15) through 10th grade.

And now it's over. My soon-to-be-a-junior daughter will be starting public high school in the fall--a huge deal for both of us.

And so I find myself reminiscing about the joys and challenges I've experienced homeschooling my kids, and feeling amazed at how fleeting those moments are. The memories are bittersweet, and I can hardly bear the pain constricting my heart as I face the fact that those days are over.

After being a mom for 31 years (yes, our oldest is 31!), my season of hands-on motherhood is nearly over. And though I'm so much more than a mom, and my life is busy and full and good, the prospect still hurts.

At odd moments waves of what I can only describe as grief suddenly splash me, and I take the time to cry, let it out, and ask God to help me to let go of the old and embrace the new. I whisper for grace to trust Him and His plans for my daughter and our family. Because He surely knows what He is doing. And His grace is surely sufficient.

More transitions loom on the cloudy horizon, distant enough that they're not yet here, yet close enough that I perceive them, and my stomach is tightening for their inevitable impact.

I don't know why change is so hard. I only know that as it comes to me, my only consolation (besides my husband) is the Lord.

So I whisper Jesus.

And I pray, Lord, be with me in this raw, new pain I'm feeling. Help me to adjust and let go and look forward to the new things You have for me. I trust that Your plans for me are good, and that You will be glorified, even in the painful transition. Give me grace to embrace the change You are bringing. In Your holy name, Amen.

The Holy Spirit then gently whispers to my heart, and I understand that although our times and seasons change, God does not. He is faithful. He is trustworthy. His peace is readily available to us, and He is with us in the fire of change.

And for that, we can be grateful. Very grateful.

For though the mountains should depart and the hills be shaken or removed, yet My love and kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace and completeness be removed, says the Lord, Who has compassion on you. (Isaiah 54:10)




12 comments:

Rachel @ The Lazy Christian said...

I'm not great with change, either. I'm glad God is! I always have to remember that nothing surprises God. He saw all of this coming forever ago and has prepared you, your daughter, and the rest of your family for this change. Go with it! :)

~*~KIMBERLY~*~ said...

Julie,

I can totally relate here... however, on a different level. I trust the Lord through it all. I can't even imagine life without the Lord. Praise Him!

GLENDA CHILDERS said...

Ah, Julie. My daughter is about to move to England as a missionary. Such happy sadness.

Praying for you in the transition.

I love having adult kids. LOVE IT. You have wonderful things to look forward too - after you have time to grieve.

Fondly,
Glenda

Jill Beran said...

Great post Julie! Perspective I really needed - truly a reminder that these days won't last forever! I've found myself a bit overwhelmed as I look ahead to the fall - homeschooling a 3rd and 1st grader, along with a preschooler who wants to do everything, a busy toddler and a newborn! Typing that tires me out a bit, but then I glance at the title of this post, "Peace in Unlikely Places" and trust God will give me that as well!! Praying for you in this time of transition!! Blessings, Jill

Cheryl Barker said...

Julie, I know so well the grief you're dealing with right now -- though I didn't really face mine until actually depositing my youngest at her college dorm. Hung on to my full-time "momness" until the last second :)

Every now and then I still have moments of sadness over that season of life being over. Had one just this morning, in fact. Guess that's just part of the new season we're in, huh? Praying for you in this transition!

ginny said...

I am not good at change. When my daughter moved out to get an apartment closer to home, I actually grieved. I had to replace her bedroom outfit with another just to fill the room. Then when she got married, I grieved again. Well, guess what? She bought a home not 3 miles from us and I can see her and the kids anytime I want. My son left and came back after a bad try at a relationship, and he is still here, and a good thing too. God knows what He is doing and knows how we will react. That is why we always survive the pain...because He leads us through it all. Transition is hard, but you will do it with grace, I am sure.

ginny said...

I mean, closer to work! LOL!

therealbarbie said...

His sweet peace to you Julie. Praying for you this week.

Karen said...

Julie, I remember those changes. Even now, a ripple of feeling will come over me. But the Lord is my "stay." He never lets go, PTL.

Terri Tiffany said...

I find myself still going through these emotions even though my daughter has been gone for five years. I don't know if the pain ever stops but God is by our side during it.

Sista In Arms Lxx said...

I'm another who doesn't do change well. We have had nearly 2years of life changing events in our house, not the pleasant kind. I was almost dragged under but I am surviving. It is encouraging to read your words and feel your faith and trust in God through them. Some seasons in life we are glad to see through and others we like to cling to, but always there is an new adventure waiting, tailored by Him especially just for us.
God Bless Lxx

Angela Mackey said...

Clearly it has been too long since I have checked out your blog...It is beautiful! Also love this post. Change is hard, but so worth it and so good. It is the pain of growth. Won't heaven be wonderful when we don't have any more pain?

Blessings to you and your family!

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