Fear. NOT!

Part 1. Fear is a Bully

If you’ve ever experienced a bully’s torment, or remember watching a kid lose his lunch-money to a bully back when you were in school, then believe it or not, you’re already familiar with one of fear’s tactics.

That’s right. Fear is a bully.

And just like a tough, mean kid staring you down in the school hallway, fear wants to intimidate you and prevent you from moving forward. But that’s not all.

Those thoughts you occasionally have? They’re not always you. Sometimes the enemy screams his bully taunts to intimidate us. You’ll never be able to do that. You’re pathetic. You are not qualified, so you might as well stop right now.

Unfortunately, sometimes what fear screams is true. Like we really aren’t qualified. I know I’m not. The good news is God uses the unqualified. I had to drop out of high school to earn a living; with only a G.E.D. to my credit, I lack a formal education. And though it was initially excruciatingly hard to believe in myself when I sensed God pushing me toward this crazy writing for publication journey, He opened doors that no man can close. I simply had to choose to obey.

Fear did its best to try to stop me from obeying, because ultimately, fear wants to shatter our confidence.

However, when our confidence is in the Lord, then it cannot be shattered. “Because the Lord shall be your confidence.” (Proverbs 3:26a)

When you feel mocked, scorned and bullied by fear, and when fear threatens to hold you back, know this: You have a Defender and a Champion who will walk with you so the fear bully not only can’t touch you, but will run the other way.

All you have to do is ask Him.

Lord, I don’t want to allow fear to bully me any longer. I will not yield my confidence, my dreams, or my hope. Instead, I will cling to You and ask You to walk with me as my Defender and my Champion. I will choose not to listen to the taunts and intimidation tactics of fear. Instead, I cling to the truth that I am Your precious jewel, Your co-laborer, and that Your power dwells in me. Thank you for Your plans for my good and not for disaster, plans to give me a future and a hope. When I am afraid, I will trust in You. Help me not to allow myself to be intimidated, but to walk in the authentic confidence that only comes from You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

This week, when fear tries to bully you, remember this: God is your champion. He is your confidence. And you can look fear in the eye, tell it “No!”, and keep moving forward.

Fewer Cringe-Worthy Moments

There are moments I make myself cringe.

Like when the person driving in front of me spurts along at 8 or 9 miles an hour beneath the speed limit, and my response is less than lovely.

I wish I knew why getting behind the wheel sometimes brings out the Cruela DeVille in me. My guess is it’s likely a combination of my Type-A gotta get there personality and the selfish part of me that doesn’t want people in my way.

And that just makes me sad.

For the desires of the flesh are opposed to the Holy Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are opposed to the flesh; for these are antagonistic to each other—continually withstanding and in conflict with each other, so that you are not free but are prevented from doing what you desire to do. (Galatians 5:17)

Can you relate? Is there some trigger in your life that makes you respond in cringe-worthy ways, too?

Sweet friend, our answer is the verse prior to the one above:

But I say, walk and live habitually in the Holy Spirit—responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh—of human nature without God. (Galatians 5:16)

But it’s not enough to just read the verse above. We’ve got to internalize it, then (here comes the sometimes painful part) do it. And the best way I know to make that happen is to pray.

And pray. 

And pray. 

Because authentic change only begins when we absorb God's Word and pray. So this week I will be making a concerted prayer effort--while I'm in my car--to pray, breathe deeply, and not stress about traffic.

The truth is, in order to have fewer cringe-worthy moments, we need to have more prayer moments. Then we'll be responsive to an controlled by the Holy Spirit. Not by a snide comment, an awful situation, or even a rude driver.

Feel free to print out this prayer and use it to your heart's content. I'll do the same. And together, let's have fewer cringe-worthy moments.  

Dear Lord,

Authentic change begins by recognizing my need to change, and asking You to help me. I want to walk and live habitually in the Holy Spirit. I want to be responsive to and controlled and guided by Your Spirit—not by people, events, or situations that trigger a sinful response on my part. When circumstances are not to my liking, help me not to gratify the cravings and desires of my flesh, but in Your grace, walk in the Holy Spirit so that my reaction will honor You.

Help me to walk in the fruits of the Spirit, particularly (name one specific reaction).  God, Your Word says out of the heart the mouth speaks. Please purify and change my heart so that good things come out of my mouth. Enable me to glorify You by walking in self-control, and give me Your peace and joy this week as I make the effort to change my behavior in this area.  In the precious name of Jesus, Amen.

Repeat After Me: I Forgive Myself For Doing Stupid Things

“I want to step out into marriage ministry, but I don’t feel worthy.”

This confession came in spite of my sweet friend’s burgeoning track record helping troubled couples that God placed in her path. My heart ached for her, because it seemed so clear to me that she was supposed to do the very thing her heart was drawing her toward.

Yet that awful feeling of unworthiness told her that she couldn’t possibly help anyone. After all, she had done so many things wrong.

And I so get that. I think we can all relate to feeling unworthy to something God has called us to do.

Yet when we experience a deep sense of unworthiness, it’s a sign that our focus is wrong. Because ministry of any kind is not dependent on our worthiness, but His.

When our focus is on us, we to lose sight of God’s magnificent grace. We see only our own blemishes and faults and all the reasons we can’t. But when our eyes are on Him, when we dare to trust that He knows what He’s doing, we’re free to believe He can accomplish the seemingly impossible through frail, clumsy, imperfect vessels.

Because really, that’s what we are. And that’s okay, because that’s all God requires: A willing heart, poised and ready to believe that in spite of our imperfections, He can still use us. It’s a divine mystery: God chooses to use chipped, leaking, busted pots.

Like me. Like you.

We have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. (2 Corinthians 4:7)

I don’t know what dream you might have put on hold because you don’t feel worthy. But if we’ve asked the Lord to forgive us, He has. And maybe, just maybe, we need to consider the possibility that we need to forgive ourselves.

{Insert a holy pause here while we forgive ourselves for doing stupid things.}

The truth is, people relate much more to our brokenness than to our so-called perfections. And so we are free to stumble forward, hearts poised to help those He sends across our path in whichever way He leads us, trusting and believing that in spite of our imperfections, He can still use us.

Not because we’re worthy. Because we’re not. But He is.

The Verse I Once Hated

I know. You’re thinking we shouldn’t hate scripture—and I agree with you. But eons ago when I was a new Christian, I didn’t know that.

And so when I stumbled across this verse in my Bible, I thought You’ve got to be kidding me.

Fear not; there is nothing to fear for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am Your God. I will strengthen you and harden you to difficulties; yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My victorious right hand of rightness of and justice. (Isaiah 41:10) (Amplified Bible)

Now on the surface, you might think that Isaiah 41:10 is a good verse. But to me, that verse shouted one thing: Things are going to get worse. But you’ll get as tough as the callouses on  a ballerina's feet, and even though it’ll be really, really hard, you’ll be able to walk on rough ground because I will help you.

The problem was, I didn’t want to be tough. And I hated callouses.

Those spoke of storms and tragedies and tough walks that I knew I didn’t want to endure. It didn’t matter if God said he’d be there. I’d had enough, and I’d rather not go through any more, thank you very much.

As far as I was concerned I’d already paid my dues—entirely too many dues, frankly, and I wanted happy verses. Verses that promised me everything was going to be alright. Verses that assured me God was in control, He loved me, and I wouldn’t have to go through any more pain.

Have you ever felt that way? Like you’ve endured so much, and one more thing—just one more 

thing, would push your straight over the edge?

I understand.

But now, 20-odd years later, I have fresh perspective. I realize that as God’s children, we are not here to experience lavishly comfortable lives. In fact, we’re called to lay down our lives. And part of that means going through some hard, uncomfortable times. But it’s not because God is cruel. Not at all.

It’s because the enemy is cruel. He steals and kills and destroys, and our earth is shaking with those who have been wounded and don’t know the One who can strengthen them and hold them up.

But we do.

Because when we go through our hard times, keeping our eyes on Jesus, knowing that God Himself girds and strengthens us, not only are we living proof of the Hope within us, but because of what we’ve endured, we can authentically pray, reach out, understand, and point others toward the One who awaits with outstretched arms.

Now I no longer hate that scripture verse. I adore it. Because it means that no matter what I go through, He is holding me up. And if you’re with me, in the end, our calloused feet will dance straight to Him, leading all those behind us.

All because we’ve been hardened to difficulties.

And ironically, that is exactly what softens our hearts.