It's been an overwhelming week on many levels.
Our daughter continues to recover from serum sickness, no small task given that my husband had to create an Excel spreadsheet to help me to deal with all the meds she's still taking. Because she started high school at a parent-partnered community school (we've home schooled since kindergarten), we're not only adjusting to a new school situation, but the stress of catching up on lots of work. (She attends 1/2 time and home schools 1/2 time.)
Next, doctors just informed us that our son, who turned 20 last week (and still lives at home), needs surgery within the next 2 weeks on a large, deep (chronic, infected) cyst beneath his tailbone. We're dealing with many medical appointments, and my all-time favorite thing ever--insurance phone calls.
Finally, my pastor invited me to speak, right after I got back from She Speaks. So, this past Sunday, for the first time ever, I gave my testimony. At our church. Full of people. Who stared at me while I spoke.
And I lived to tell about it.
In honor of this momentous event, my tear ducts have been working overtime. I've teared up in my car, in the bathroom, right before bed, and as soon as I wake up. I've cried in the kitchen, in my closet, and in front of my befuddled husband.
I'm not quite sure why it's happening, but I can't help but think that a new part of me is surrendered. The part that didn't want anyone to know all the bad stuff she endured. Somehow it feels like after all these years, I've finally found my voice.
I've come face to face with the awful truth that the truth is sometimes awful, but God uses it to help other hurting people.
And in my heart of hearts, that's what I long to do.
Though I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'm clinging to and trusting Jesus in the midst of everything. He's faithful and utterly trustworthy. If you're feeling overwhelmed, I promise that you can trust Him, too.
“What, what would have become of me had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living!” Psalm 27:13
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28