It's been an overwhelming week on many levels.

Our daughter continues to recover from serum sickness, no small task given that my husband had to create an Excel spreadsheet to help me to deal with all the meds she's still taking. Because she started high school at a parent-partnered community school (we've home schooled since kindergarten), we're not only adjusting to a new school situation, but the stress of catching up on lots of work. (She attends 1/2 time and home schools 1/2 time.)

Next, doctors just informed us that our son, who turned 20 last week (and still lives at home), needs surgery within the next 2 weeks on a large, deep (chronic, infected) cyst beneath his tailbone. We're dealing with many medical appointments, and my all-time favorite thing ever--insurance phone calls.

Finally, my pastor invited me to speak, right after I got back from She Speaks. So, this past Sunday, for the first time ever, I gave my testimony. At our church. Full of people. Who stared at me while I spoke.

And I lived to tell about it.

In honor of this momentous event, my tear ducts have been working overtime. I've teared up in my car, in the bathroom, right before bed, and as soon as I wake up. I've cried in the kitchen, in my closet, and in front of my befuddled husband.

I'm not quite sure why it's happening, but I can't help but think that a new part of me is surrendered. The part that didn't want anyone to know all the bad stuff she endured. Somehow it feels like after all these years, I've finally found my voice.

I've come face to face with the awful truth that the truth is sometimes awful, but God uses it to help other hurting people.

And in my heart of hearts, that's what I long to do.

Though I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'm clinging to and trusting Jesus in the midst of everything. He's faithful and utterly trustworthy. If you're feeling overwhelmed, I promise that you can trust Him, too.

“What, what would have become of me had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living!” Psalm 27:13

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28


B His Girl said...

Wow Julie,

Your post title said it all. I am glad to hear your daughter is recovering...a spreadsheet to keep up with the medicines. Wow!
My friend's college daughter just had a cyst removed right in the tailbone/backside area. It was infected too. She is doing great: ) They have been putting sponges in to help close the wound and using a vaccum of sorts for drainage. The size of the sponge changes I think two times a week. It has not been fun but she is sitting again and feeling good. She feels so much better with it gone. I hope that testimony encourages you. The insurance stuff is always a pain in itself.

How beautiful to speak and live to tell us about it. I'm so proud you have taken a new step in the open door God has for you. He is hovering close to you. That's why you are crying all the time. Your heart is tender toward Him, sensitive to His movements, open to His plans. Enjoy His Presence breaking forth in new things in your life.
Thanks for sharing. I will pray for your daughter and son's upcoming surgery. B

Anonymous :) said...

I understand what you mean about those tears - when somehow each teardrop feels like a good thing.

Kelly said...

Oh honey! Being transparent makes you feel VULNERABLE! And that is a funny feeling. Plus when we've training ourselves to keep the "family secret" and then we tell, well there is the whole guilt/relief juxtaposition.

I hope your kids will soon be on the mend, and that you will feel the peace & love of Jesus.

Diane said...

Feeling along with you. Sometimes we do go through things that take a long time, but God will use it all for His glory. I have been struggling with a family situation now for about 14 years and I have to believe that breakthrough is soon coming. My prayers go to your family. I pray this time brings you all closer together and to God.

Jody Hedlund said...

Oh Wow, Julie, you are truly under trial right now. I hope that your daughter is doing better. How in the world would she have caught that? Keep us posted how surgery for your son goes! Will be praying!

Deb said...

You may not believe this,I prayed for you and your family this morning.

Before I went to church.

I hope that your daughter gets better and that your son's surgery goes well.

I've read part of your testimony; maybe one day I'll get to hear you share it in person.

It's ok to cry. He keeps our tears in a bottle.

They're a sign of brokenness.

And of healing.

Sweet dreams.

Sonya Lee Thompson said...

Wow, I am so grateful that you've found your voice! Sounds like God is healing you with the rain of your tears - He is crying tears for your past, too.

Glad your daughter is doing better and believing for good results from your sons surgery.

God Bless and happy labor day,
Sonya Lee

Rachel Beran said...

So thankful that God is opening doors for you...and showing you His faithfulness through it all. Being overwhelmed isn't always a bad thing. It reminds us of just WHO we're depending on! :)

Thanks for sharing. I needed the encouragement today. It's always reassuring to know that I'm not alone in my struggles...and triumphs. :)

Julie Gillies said...


Serum sickness isn't anything you catch; it's a strange name for a severe allergic reaction to (in this case) penicillin. I'd never heard of it before.

Anne Lang Bundy said...


The work He does on us can sure chisel deeply--yes?

The master Sculptor is creating a masterpiece. Your beauty is showing. He will surely use it well, in His way and timing.


Terri Tiffany said...

You have certainly been through a lot lately! I knew your daughter has been dreadfully sick and am glad to hear she is recovering. What is serum sickness? And cysts can be a pain too-- I had one removed from my side over two weeks ago and ended up with an allergic reaction to the band aids! We never know what will come our way but God can use it all --and it sounds like you were such a blessing to give your testimony in church. I've never done that--and I might faint if I had to. Cry all you want--I do every day now with all that is happening but I also know crying gets it out so we can function. I'll be praying for your family as you go forward and deal with the coming concerns.

KelliGirl said...

Oh Julie,
I'm praying for you, for your daughter and son, too. I know you'll weather this storm and be stronger as a result.

Praise God that you opened the dam that's kept your story inside. There's no telling how God will use your story to help others, offer hope and glorify His name.

"I've come face to face with the awful truth that the truth is sometimes awful, but God uses it to help other hurting people." How true...and how beautifully written!

Thanks for the giving me fresh hope that nothing is impossible with God.

Love and prayers,

Lindsey @ A New Life said...

Oh Julie, will be praying for you and your sweet family. And I totally get the random crying...I've been doing that a lot lately as I move from surrendering the little things from my past to surrendering the big huge "what seems impossible to heal" things :-). God's great love will keep us from being consumed, (Lam 3:22-23) whether it is consumed by our past, our present, or our future worries.

Blessings to you,

Cheryl Barker said...

Julie, so sorry to hear that you are in the midst of overwhelming circumstances -- but so glad to hear that He is strengthening you and growing you through it all. May God continue to use you in mighty ways!

Tea with Tiffany said...

Goodness, this was a both hard and amazing post to read. I'm sorry about your daughter and son. I hate it when my kids are sick. And surgery and medicine charts scare me. I pray strength and peace over your heart and home.

And about you sharing your testimony at church. I did part of mine on Mother's Day of this year. It was the first time ever that I stood before both men and women and told my worst sin. I felt the presence of Almighty God as I testified of who He is. My healer. My deliverer. My friend. So in many ways, I understand the tears. It's amazing for me to think God would allow me the privilege of sharing my story to offer perspective and healing and hope to others. His grace amazes me. And to think, we are just beginning.

You are HIS voice. You haven't found your voice, He found you!

Love you,


Sande said...

At the end of ourselves is a place He likes us to be :)

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

I too have been overwhelmed for different reasons, but your title caught my attention. Thinking about you....Just having a rainy day of blog hopping...enjoyed my visit at your blog. Hope you will stop by my new Christmas blog...just leaving a comment enters you for a great giveaway of ornaments on Oct 1st. http://grammyababychangeseverything.blogspot.com

Melinda said...

I know the weariness you must be feeling, dear Julie. You have been in my thoughts and prayers often.

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