The Benefits of Dashing To and Fro

I can zip my pants. This may not sound like earth-shattering news. However, given the number of Christmas goodies I’ve already consumed this season, it is no small feat.

In fact, this may even qualify as a Christmas miracle, given that all my spare time has been sucked into the Holiday Vortex, along with my usual daily two-mile walks. I lamented my lack of exercise until it dawned on me: I am busy--and busy burns calories!

So, in the spirit of holiday giving, I joyfully offer my gift to you: The Holiday Equivalents Chart. By my calculations, and according to this Official Chart, I can indulge in the many flavors of Christmas without loosening my belt even a tiny bit. And so, my friends, can you.


The Official Holiday Calorie Equivalents Chart



* Lugging holiday boxes from basement/attic/garage = 3 Powdered Pecan Balls

* Screaming/jumping wildly from creepy crawlies in box = 2 Sugar Cookies

* Beating creepy crawlies w/ broom & scraping up the mess = 1 Handful Spiced Pecans

* Driving across town to three Christmas tree lots in search of perfect tree = 1 Mug of Hot Cocoa

* Untangling aggravating Christmas lights = Cheese ball and ½ Box of Triscuits

* Tossing tangled Christmas lights and driving to store for new lights = 2 Candy Canes

* Taking out a second mortgage to pay for Christmas tree =3 Pieces of Home Made Fudge

* Keeping up with the laundry in the midst of it all = Chips & Dip on Festive Tray

* Toting kid(s) hither and yon to choir practice and holiday parties = 4 Mini Pigs-in-a-Blanket

* Constructing and decorating Gingerbread house = 25 Red & Green Peanut M&M's

* Chasing wayward cat away from partially eaten Gingerbread house = 2 Homemade Chocolate-Almond Biscotti

* Attending 142 (or 9) Christmas play rehearsals = 9 Peanut Butter Kisses

* Brainstorming stocking stuffers for entire family = Cheese ball and the other 1/2 box of Triscuits

* Composing witty yet meaningful Christmas letter = 1 Slice of Pumpkin Roll

* Posing for annual holiday picture without blood or tears = 3 Christmas Oreos

* Shopping, shopping, shopping = 2 1/2 cups Home made Chex Mix

* Waiting in long lines without turning into the Grinch = Handful of Pistachios

* Baking umpteen thousand Christmas cookies = 4 Snickerdoodles

* Ranting at teen son (and friends) for snarfing most of cookies = 1 Piece Fudge

* Wrapping Christmas presents until your back spasms =1 Dinner Out--OR ELSE

This concludes the annual milking of the system. With cookies, of course.



23 comments:

Debra @ Common Ground said...

Hi Julie, I'm so glad to know that there is a benefit to all of the craziness of decorating! Now I don't feel so bad that I've had leftover red velvet cake for three days in a row! I'll have to send this to my sister, it will give both of us great comfort during this next month!! Thanks, and please pass those red & green m&m's.
Debra

Terri Tiffany said...

So I must not be doing enough!!! LOL

Andrea said...

Blessings and hugs,
andrea

Speaking from the Heart said...

I love the list !!!

Sande said...

May have to do a little Australian substituting there .. half of those treats I've never heard of and in an assumably global world, that is amusing.

Karen said...

That is sooo funny. Hey, does, letting the dog outside and just watching as he does his "thing" count for any calorie burners???

Cheryl Barker said...

I like the way you think, Julie! Christmas goodies, here I come :)

By the way, fyi - I added your link on my "blogs to check out" list the other day. Always takes awhile for me to catch up on things like that...

Have a great week!

Diane said...

Aside from the much earned dinner, I see a pattern forming with your reward selections.... :O)

Tammy said...

I better get busy.

Sista In Arms Lxx said...

Hilarious, I love it ! Lxx

Jody Hedlund said...

Oh, I LOVE this list Julie!! I can totally see why your local DJ read it on the radio today! And Kudos on that!! :-)

KelliGirl said...

Julie,
I love your list...and your sense of humor. Thanks for the chuckle.

I ate so much over the Thanksgiving weekend that I fear for the state of my pants come Christmas! By your calculations I might be better off than I thought!

Blessings, my friend,
Kelli

Anne Lang Bundy said...

Writing out Christmas cards to family and 30 years worth of friends I haven't quite released = 10,000 words worth of chocolate.

Rachel B said...

HA HA! Love it!! Thanks for shring.

Thanksgiving/Christmas/Being Pregnant...Not sure I can exercise enough!! :)

Deb said...

This equivalency chart?

The best Christmas present ever!

I'm so kissing guilt goodbye.

Until January rolls around, or I can't zip my jeans.

Whichever comes first!

Sweet dreams.

Kathi Lipp said...

By your calculations, I should be a size 2 :)

Love your post!

Kathi Lipp said...

By your calculations, I should be a size 2 :)

Love your post!

Nishant said...

Now I don't feel so bad that I've had leftover red velvet cake for three days in a row

Work From Home India

One Happy Campa said...

Oh Julie,
You have me laughing hysterically (in my husband's house pants b/c I cannot fit into anything else, LOL). I needed that in the worst way! Thank you for lightening my load.

Blessings and Merry Christmas!
Marilois

Andrea said...

I haven't been quite so lucky, but I am trying. I need more will power. :)

Blessings to you.

Andrea

sparkled*life said...

Love it now that I know what all I can eat bring on the brownies the cake the Triscuits and all of the yummy goods!!!

Karen said...

Too funny!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Stunning hilarity & creativity. Thank you!

peace~elaine

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