Have you ever felt like you just couldn’t be yourself; you had to fake it?
I sure have; it began as an insecure teen girl. I learned performance got me attention. With parents, coaches, teachers or pastors, acting well made them happy with me. But I wasn’t happy with me. I just couldn’t keep up with trying to be perfect; at times I felt like performing would swallow me up. Sometimes I felt like the girl grew up, but the insecurity didn’t.
Back then, I felt sure that when Jesus looked at me, He was disappointed in me. Truth be told, He wasn’t disappointed in me. In fact, I already had God’s approval and it had nothing to do with me.
Can you relate? Maybe on the outside you appear to have it all together, but really things aren’t so together. Do you find yourself each day performing just to keep up with the expectations of others? Only now it is a husband, children, and employers; just like the teen girl, we just want to be accepted, approved and affirmed.
Friend, Jesus knows. He sees. He knows our inside and our out; but it doesn’t change the way He feels about us. It doesn’t alter or erase His love!
Read the first part of Psalm 139 out loud, listening to Jesus speak to you. Go ahead – read it out loud. You need to hear this truth.
“You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.”
He makes it clear; Jesus loves every part of you. He knows everything you do, everything you’ve done and everything you even think about doing. Yet it doesn’t change the way He feels about you. You see, when He sees you, He sees one whose sins He washed away because of the price He paid on the cross. He now sees you as clean.
Even knowing our deepest thoughts, our darkest deeds, and our disappointing attitudes doesn’t change His loving thoughts toward us.
Here was my struggle: I knew that He loved me unconditionally, but I thought He would approve of me more if I did everything right. It does bring joy to His heart when we obey and He wants us to because it points others to Him. But, our actions and who we are do not affect His love for us. Our actions do not make Him love us more; nor do they make Him love us less.
So go ahead; be completely honest with Him about your fears, dreams, hurts, and hopes. He wants you to because He deeply cares about all aspects of what makes up the person called you.
How would your life have been different if you had gotten at 13 that Jesus loved you just the way you were? What confidence would that have brought to your life? What decisions would His love have empowered you to make? What decisions would you have had the strength to say “no” to?
This is the reason I wrote “His Revolutionary Love”. His love, the love that fills the love gap that no man ever can, is exactly the love that brings that confidence. This is the love I want to pass on to the next generation.
* * * * *
Oh, how I could have benefited from a book like this when I was a teenager! It would have prevented a lot of heartache in my life. I'm so grateful my teen daughter has read it, and I encourage you to get this book not only for your tween or teen daughter/granddaughter/friend, but for yourself! I read and loved this book!
For the chance to win a signed copy of Lynn's must-read new book, "His Revolutionary Love", please leave a comment below sharing struggles you have (or once had) accepting Jesus' love for you.
P.S. You can purchase Lynn's book from Proverbs 31 Ministries or from Amazon (click either of those links to go directly to the purchase page). Or you can visit Lynn's Blog .
18 comments:
Julie,
Thank you so much for having me today!
I just returned from speaking at Mother/Daughter weekend in Pennsylvania. After sharing my "Revolutionary Love" message on Friday night, a woman came up to me and said, "I wish I would have heard this message last year. I wouldn't have divorced my husband."
Her words pierced my heart! This is the reason that I want to spread the truth of Jesus' love that completely fills! When girls and women alike grasp this truth, their search for unconditional love is over!
That wasn't Shari...it was me :)
I really need to experience this Love with the Lord and really want to spend time with him. I feel him calling me but I keep resisting. I also feel really disconected with family and friends. I think alot of it is trust issues. I tend to distance myself from getting closer to people. So I know if I draw close to the Lord, He will fill me with all the love I need and it will let others of the hook from trying to live up to my expectations. Does that make sense? What a mess I am! Please pray that I stop making excuses and just do it!!
I have had so many struggles growing up with feelings of inadequecy and weight struggles. I see my daughter starting with the same struggles and would love to win a copy of this book for her.
Don't enter me in your drawing Julie, but wanted to stop by and let you know I read your post and the book looks great.
See you in July!
What an important topic. I still struggle with the performance trap at 55 years of age! So glad there is a book out there now to help girls/young women come to grips with that performance mentality early in life.
I don't have a teen daughter or granddaughter so don't enter me in the drawing, Julie. I would rather the book go to someone who can give it to her daughter or granddaughter and help shape her young life.
Have a great week!
Being a first generation Christian, oh how I had to learn God's love for me as unconditional. I kept looking at everything I had done wrong but have finally gotten to that place of freedom. This book would be absolutely perfect for my daughter who is turning 14 on May 21st. Even being raised in the church, you can struggle with this. I would love for her to learn she doesn't have to through a resource other than mom. :-)
Thanks so much for sharing your encouraging words! I would love to win a copy of this book for my 12-year-old daughter who is heading for (gasp!) junior high in the fall. She's an awesome kid - straight-A student, loves Jesus, always does the right thing, makes us proud ... and she worries me! I'm afraid she could so easily fall into the perfectionism trap, trying to please God (and everyone else). I have been thinking that this would be a great book for her & I to read together over the summer. Thanks for the opportunity!
Thanks for the giveaway, Julie. I am always struggling with feeling that I am not good enough for the love of Jesus. I have horrible feelings of insecurities and try to always be a people pleaser...including Jesus...I think this book may be very helpful to me in dealing with my feelings.
My daughter was really blessed by Lynn's sessions this passed weekend at the Mother/Daughter banquet. She is 15 and set apart, but still fell 2 years ago . . . and from time to time carries the guilt of that fall. Saturday evening, after the last session, she broke down and relived the guilt from that time . . . . hopefully for the last time. I believe she has been set free to experience His Revolutionary Love :) Thank you Lynn!
Wow, Nicole, I love hearing what God has done in your daughter! Thank you, Jesus!
And my heart is so touched by ALL of your comments, that I've made the decision to give away TWO signed copies of "His Revolutionary Love" instead of just one! :)
It took me many years into my walk to realize that Jesus loved me faults and all; that I did not have to pretend to be someone I wasn't in order to become the woman He designed me to be.
Would love to read this book and then pass it on to my precious nieces. I want them to end their teenage years stronger than I did!
Thank you, Lynn and Julie.
Would love to win the book to read myself then pass on....thanks Julie!
This line struck me today: "In fact, I already had God’s approval and it had nothing to do with me." I constantly struggle with feeling unworthy of God's love... which I am, that's why grace is undeserved. But, I need to accept that grace, rather than kick myself for never being "good enough."
Thank you for this kind offer!
I still struggle with these lies:
I'm not good enough.
I'll never be good enough.
So glad that in Christ and through Him and because of Him, I have God's approval.
Way cool!
Sweet dreams.
Friends,
Isn't God good to allow us to hear and grasp truth...even when we are past our teen years!
I hope that you will join me in investing this truth in the lives of those teen girls around you! Together we can start a love revolutionary and truly make a difference in the lives of the next generation.
Lynn
Deception. Sometimes that is all it can take for one to feel unworthy of love. For years I struggled with accepting that God loved me in spite of where I've been and who I was. I wanted so much to accept his love. And I talked to many people about it. They told me, "God knows, and he loves you!" And always, I'd reply, "But you don't know where I've been.You don't know how unworthy of this love that I am."
Even growing up in a Christian home, sometimes the things I knew in my head, didn't reach to my heart. Eventually, God broke through and he doesn't love me "in spite of where I've been" or "in spite of who I am". He loves me. Unconditionally. Unfailingly. Simple as that. Oh, what a love my Savior has!
Lynn, I'm so glad that you wrote this book because people need to hear about this love that God has for us. I don't think many realize the depth of this love. Blessings to you!
I love books that tell of struggles of young women and grown women. I love the familiar and feeling that your not alone and even so more when it is relavent to the love of God. Books like this have been a great help in my life and I'm sure in many other young ladies lives.
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