It started out of desperation.
After being diagnosed with Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome three years ago, (I know, I'd never heard of it, either) I radically adjusted my life. Pretty high-heel shoes and my dearly loved long walks were no longer in the realm of my reality. I learned to live within the limits of a painful condition for which there is no cure.
Coincidentally, (or not) these foot/ankle symptoms exploded in my life precisely when God began strongly encouraging me to walk, even run, in my calling of writing. But as I've learned, the enemy is not going to roll out the red carpet. Still, as I cried out to God to intervene and bring healing, I sensed Him gently saying, "I will give you back your health and heal your wounds." (See Jeremiah 30:17) So even though I don't understand, I've held on, continued believing, and regularly reminded God of His promise.
Things were going okay; for the most part, my symptoms were manageable...until I attended the She Speaks conference back in July. Then, all hell broke loose against my feet and ankles, and I arrived home unable to walk without severe pain. The pain was so intense I had to cook dinner for my family while sitting on a stool, wear orthotic sandals in the shower (because going barefoot was excruciating), and regularly ice my feet/ankles while virtually living in a recliner.
Like the woman with the issues of blood (see Mark 5:25-34) I became desperate for healing. But what began as desperation transformed into a desire to take a step of faith and embrace a new level of surrender.
And so, as I sat in my ugly yet comfortable prayer chair several weeks ago, I strongly sensed God inviting me to begin a 10-day Daniel fast. (If you're curious, you can read more here: What I Learned on a 21-Day Daniel Fast.) My desire to fast was completely a God thing. Trust me, deprivation is not my idea of a good time. Yet I became convinced of three things:
- I needed answers
- I needed more of God's presence and power at work in my life
- I needed a higher level holy restraint (more on that later)
According to the book of Daniel, we can expect God to give us wisdom when we fast. In the book of Isaiah, chapter 58, we see that fasting can bring healing. I knew I needed both. I longed for answers. I longed for change. I longed for God to move.
Little did I know this 10-day fast would entice me to embark upon yet more unknown territory, leading me to give up (for an undetermined amount of time) the one thing I thought I could never live without...
(Continued next week.)
Tell me where you are right now. Are you longing for answers, change, or for God to move? Could you use some more holy restraint in your life?
9 comments:
I am sorry that you are dealing with so much pain.
Oh my . . . you left us hanging there. (Yes, we will be back)
Fondly,
Glenda
Julie: I'm so sorry for your pain, yet I can so relate. Two years ago I herniated a disk in my lower back that has been painful and trying to say the least. I've had to change my lifestyle so much that between that and the desert with God I've been traveling so way too long - I'm having a hard time keeping my head above the water.
I look forward to reading along with what God is teaching you.
Blessings to you, my sweet friend.
Tammy (Tickled Pink!)
Julie, I've not heard of this syndrome before -- so sorry you've had to suffer with it. Will look froward to hearing more about how God is at work. Blessings to you, my friend!
Tammy,
I'm sorry to learn of your herniated disk, I know they're very painful. I just prayed for you, sweet friend, asking the Lord to extend His mercy toward you and bring healing. Hang in there, girl!
Julie for some reason, your name came across my forehead in prayer the other day. I meant to email you, but time escaped me. I am praying for you. I am not sure if it is for the foot syndrome, or what, but just want to know your name in lifted in prayer.
Ginny, you are precious! Thank you, sweet sister!
Julie, in the midst of great pain, you still pray for us and lift us up. What a gift you are.
As for your questions, yes, I am longing for all of those things.
WOW! Julie you left me hanging too. I too will be back. So sorry you have been in so much pain. I'm praying for you and your book.
Julie,
Nice to meet you. I came across your site via someone else's. Thank you for sharing about this TTS and about suffering, and about it being a chance for God to show off. Thank you for that insight and reminder!
Jennifer Dougan
www.jenniferdougan.com
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